Keeping Life In Focus - Without Losing Interest

mental-health  · 

Keeping Focus

I can feel it happening. It’s not like the bubble bursting. More like, it’s deflating.

I’ve gone from going flat out, foot to the floor. Pedal to the metal. Well, you get the idea.

The latest shiny new thing in my life is starting to dull. I don’t know how it starts. What triggers it off.

But the slow decline of interest begins a new upward trajectory in my depression. And it’s annoying.

So why does it happen? What causes me to lose interest in something, anything.

There’s no time scale.

It can be days, weeks or months later.

When I’m getting into my stride. The slow hiss of escaping air from the bubble begins. Until it’s deafening.

I’m not going to have any answers, unfortunately. There are better bloggers, better Google searches you could do. To find more accurate, relevant and interesting information than you’ll find here.

This post is a rant about my current state of mind.

Why do I lose interest?

The quick answer would be depression.

But why do I get excited about something, to begin with then?

Anhedonia comes up in Google searches. But doesn’t resonate with me. Because I still get bursts of excitement and interest in things. No matter how short-lived.

The early stages of excitement in a new hobby, project, or whatever, may override the negative thoughts that whisper to me. I have found my sense of purpose.

Any new interest is always exciting. You are on the new adventure of learning. You know nothing about this thing. Your brain is ready to be filled with new teachings.

And then it starts to happen. The second I plateau the rot sets in. The frustration at my inability to progress.

Why did I start this in the first place?

What was I thinking?

Did I actually think I could become good at this?

I can’t remember anything of what I’ve learned?

This is hopeless.

You’re hopeless.

I don’t know how I could have found this interesting.

And then like somebody waving a magic wand the passion is gone. And I’m left looking at this interest like it’s a strange, incomprehensible thing. Why would I be interested in that?

Except I have this faint memory of finding it interesting at some point.

And that leaves me feeling sad.

Can I reignite the spark?

Related Article: 5 Things To Do If We Feel A Loss Of Interest

The one slight silver lining in this very dark cloud is. Yes. Well, sometimes.

I’ve lost interest in learning a new language due to frustration, only to try again months later. Oh, I still got frustrated and dropped it again.

Ok, bad example. Web development. I got a few books and learned a bit of HTML, CSS, and suchlike. Only to drop it again due to frustrations in my limited abilities. But. I started again along with my newfound love for blogging.

Blogging and web development seem to go well together. They feed off each other. And I’m finding that I’m still learning.

Well. I was. Despite the initial excitement, I can feel the bubble starting to wobble.

I’m hoping it’s a natural wobble that every blogger goes through. Especially in the early days.

I need to go with the flow. I’ve used a saying throughout my life, but one I struggle with listening to the older I get.

So what now?

Not every wobble ends in disaster. It’s a speed bump. I need to slow down. And focus on the road ahead. Easier said than done. But one I need to learn from.

Otherwise, why bother starting anything new in the first place.