Why You're Feeling Unmotivated
mental-health ·I tried to start this post whilst laid in bed. But the usual distraction got in the way.
And between them and staring out the window I didn’t get very far.
I had all these intentions the night before. I was going to do some clothes washing, tidy the house, hoover, fix things, clean things. Motivated, motivated, motivated.
And then I woke up the next morning.
This is a bit of a follow-up post from my previous one. To be honest, the two posts should be amalgamated. Which would up my word count as well!
What Is Motivation?
According to Wikipedia:
Motivation is what explains why people or animals initiate, continue or terminate a certain behaviour at a particular time.
You Are Your Brain
While everything we feel is nothing more than a collection of electrical impulses and chemicals and hormones, it’s important to remember that you are your brain.
It is not some separate entity making every decision without your input. What motivates you on an existential level can’t be explained entirely by biology alone.
Motivation is the desire to achieve a goal, which is a lot more complicated than a single process.
Why you are motivated depends on what the change means to you, why you want to pursue the change, what supports you can access to sustain the change, etc.
Loss of motivation
Apathy is the destroyer of progress.
At least that’s how I see it. That’s the feeling I get. It’s not a feeling of sadness. It’s the feeling of nothing.
The feeling of emptiness and life’s borders growing beyond your grasp.
So here I sit. Thinking of all the jobs I should be doing. All the chores around the house. It’s not laziness stopping me. It’s something else.
Oh, some of it is down to depression. Lack of self-worth, lack of vitamin D, even. But here I sit. Thinking of everything and feeling nothing.
Motivation is an in-house job; it begins and ends with you. Even if you fail to realize it, motivation is something you can control, an internal job. No one gets to determine your level of motivation. You need to take responsibility for your motivation – every second, every minute, hourly and daily.
What’s Wrong With Me?
One reason you might have a lack of motivation is that you’re leaving things too open. When things are vague, the motivation will fade. When you’re unable to tap into the motivation you need to succeed, it might be because whatever thing you want to get motivated for is too vague
10 Tips to get and stay motivated
- Celebrate small victories.
- Get out of bed and out of pyjamas
- Go for a walk
- Avoid social media
- Don’t overschedule
- Establish routines — they can help you feel motivated.
- Create a support network
- Get enough sleep
- Take things one step at a time, and don’t try to do more than you’re able to.
- Meditation - before picking up your phone and scrolling through social media. Five minutes guided meditation can make all the difference to how your day starts
Related Posts
https://www.the-well.com/editorial/what-to-do-when-you-feel-unmotivated
https://www.deanbokhari.com/lack-of-motivation/
Accountability buddy
In short, accountability buddies are the people you ask to peer pressure you into doing the things you don’t want to.
An accountability buddy is someone with whom you establish an ongoing, reciprocal relationship. Each member of the partnership commits to coach the other towards achieving their goals and, to be held accountable for their progress towards their own. This relationship helps each partner to stick to their commitments.
Related Posts
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/08/well/live/habits-health.html
Resources
Planning Resources
Behaviour Change Apps (Free)
- WOOP - Simple behaviour change system by professor Gabrielle Oettingen at NYU
- Stickk - create contracts for accountability with money on the line
- Keystone - social habit tracker for iOS
- Chain - social habit tracker for iOS
- Beeminder - goal setting and behaviour change through loss avoidance
- findpathly.com - reflective listening through voice messaging
- pomorace.com - community pomodoro timer
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Behaviour Change Apps (Paid)
- GetMotivatedBuddies.com (woohoo!) - get up to 4 accountability partners from around the world, join groups and challenges. - system to test habits and self-directed plans. - Find buddies by keywords, age, gender, timezone, employment, habits. - get auto-matched every 72 hours. - find others who use your apps, go to your school, gym or organization - keep your anonymity. - Buddy chat and group chat - See each other’s check-ins and plans. - import other people’s plans. - get email and SMS reminders and triggers. - get positive reinforcement for all activities on your plans.
- focusmate.com - watch and be watched by another person over video
- getsupporti.com - accountability partner app that finds you mutual support buddies
- goalio.co - reward yourself for completing goals
- https://www.habitshareapp.com/
Other Resources
- HitTheGoal - Discord community for group accountability
- https://actionbuddy.io/blog/accountability-partner (14-day free trial)
When it comes to motivation. No one will give it to you, but yourself.
So after writing a few hundred words I decided to try and start my day. Time to put into practice some of what I’ve been writing about.
It won’t always be this easy.
And writing about my struggles and posting online is my form of accountability.
This won’t work for everybody. We all have to find our own path. But sometimes being shown the right direction to walk is all we need.
This did involve me picking up my phone long enough to load up the Fitbit app and start a five minute guided meditation.
I put away all my devices.
Laidback down in bed.
Took a deep breath.
And relaxed.
Five minutes later I got out of bed. Nothing was going to distract me.
I can do this.
Start small.
Get dressed.
Go eat breakfast.
I can do this.
And, so my day began.
