20 Things I'd Tell 20 Year Old Me

personal  · 

Turning 50, and then very quickly turning 51 has got me thinking of what I’d tell my younger self if I could go back in time. For the longest time, I’d say things like “no regrets” or “you only live once”

Looking back now I realise that was bullshit.

I have a ton of regrets and wishing I’d looked before I leaped. And the further away from my youth I get the stronger these thoughts become.

Take better care of yourself early on Look after your body. Sure, it can recover quicker from a night out at 20. But you’re going to feel it later in life.

Brush your teeth twice a day. Properly. And have breakfast. Not a quick sip of coffee as you head out the door after being up and dressed in five minute

You are stronger than you know You can and will survive so many things in later life. It might not feel like it at the time but you can get through anything. Especially if you follow the next point.

Always take care of your mental health This is the single most important thing I can tell myself. Don’t be afraid to get the help you feel you need. Do not let others around you influence you. They are not you.

They are not the ones going through what you are. Listen to their advice. But the end decision lies with you.

DO NOT suffer in silence.

Don’t believe everything everyone tells you. Especially in the workplace Everybody lies. Even if they don’t realise they’re doing it. Or even mean to. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Stay out of workplace dramas.

And stay away from workplace relationships.

They never work out.

Work to live don’t live to work Not that I really need to tell myself this. Work isn’t everything. Don’t take the baggage of work home with you. And don’t stick with a job because you think you should.

Don’t take things so personally You need a thicker skin. Do not take whatever anybody says to heart. People will lie, manipulate, dictate and criticise anything about you.

They are not you. And their opinion of you is none of your business.

Learn to embrace change There will be many changes in life, not all of them positive. Some changes you can change. Some you can’t. Don’t dwell on the things outside your control.

Maintain friendships Don’t shut people out. You will end up with nobody you can call a friend. They won’t and shouldn’t put up with your selfish crap.

Your true friends will be there for you. But you need to be there for them to. Don’t let life get in the way.

Don’t worry about what others think or about what they are doing Don’t look at other people and compare what they have or want to you. You are not them and they are not you.

They may drive a big, fast car and you trundle around in a 1L city car. They may earn more money, be healthier, fitter It doesn’t matter.

Do not compare yourself to others.

It’s ok to get out of your comfort zone sometimes Actually it’s probably healthy. Don’t stay in your own safe little bubble. You’ll become more confident and able to cope with the world around you if you live in it just a little sometimes.

You are not your thoughts, you are the thinker of your thoughts Your own mind can be your worst enemy at times. Seeds of doubt and self hate can grow and fester given enough time and energy.

It’s a cliché to “think positive” but there’s also some truth in it. Try and not let the negative thoughts win so much.

Always choose kindness Another one I don’t really need to tell myself. But this includes everyone and everything in life. People as well as animals.

Spend more time together I cannot stress this enough. Make more time for family. Even if you have to do all the hard work.

They’re not always going to be there. And when they’re gone you will have regrets about things left unsaid.

Everything happens for a reason Some of these things will be good. Some things will be bad. Some you can control and others you can’t.

Focus on one thing at a time. You can have it all but not all at once Be patient. Be focused. Don’t let thoughts or frustrations cloud your mind. Do what makes you happy in the moment and don’t dwell on the other things you wish you could also do.

You’ll half ass anything you try and do if your mind is elsewhere. You can’t juggle without dropping things.

It’s OK to be unsure about your purpose in life At 20, 30 or even 40. Life is ever changing.

Don’t try too hard with people You’ll push people away. You’ll lose good friends and ruin relationships before they have time to flourish.

Saying less can be so much more effective than constantly speaking your mind.

stand up and speak out for what’s important to you Going slightly at odds with the list point. If you are passionate about an issue. You have a voice. Use it to help others.

Don’t be preachy or ram it down people’s throats. Learn how to engage in debate to get your point across. It’s ok to disagree with someone. Don’t just go with the popular opinion.

You are not the only person in the world who feels this way It often feels like it at times. But whatever you’re going through is not unique to you. Personal, yes.

Share your thoughts and worries with like-minded people. Staying in your own head just makes the echo chamber resonate louder.

Don’t stop learning Ever. Don’t stop reading. Try new interests. Some will stick, some will drop off.